


Boys Don't Cry

by byakuyasama



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-13 03:47:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3366584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byakuyasama/pseuds/byakuyasama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama has always had feelings for Hinata.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boys Don't Cry

When his first girlfriend came along, you were sure you could handle it. Things would be the same as they had been previously. Hinata never cut corners with volleyball, therefore he wouldn’t skip out on extra practice with you. At least, that’s what you had managed to convince yourself. It was only his first year in high school anyway, you doubted the relationship would last and managed to let the topic leave your mind.

Hinata skipped over to the gym, flashing you his usual smile. He gave everyone the same glance, yet it never failed to make you feel special. As if his smile held more than just a friendly greeting to it.

“Kageyama!” He greeted enthusiastically, clutching his sports bag firmly, his bright eyes gleaming up to meet yours.

You considered responding with a friendly tone until you spotted the figure standing behind him. A short girl with long brown hair, her face was all but too familiar.

“You’re late.” was all you managed to bark out, instantly regretting the harshness of your tone. Of course, he remained unphased, simply letting out a low whine before resuming his usual cheery attitude.  
\---

You couldn’t help but feel the pang of jealousy whenever he said he couldn’t stay after practice to help you with your serve. It was unfair of you to get possessive. He had a girlfriend, after all, you two weren’t dating. You doubted he even liked boys, and held your one-sided feelings to yourself as you changed quickly, gritting your teeth through the rest of practice.

“Hmmm…? Kageyama, what’s wrong? You seem especially angry today.” Hinata offered a teasing chuckle, assuring you that there was no pressure for a real response.

“I’m fine. Go over to the net, I’m working on a new serve.” You responded coldly. Hinata’s expression faltered for a split second, recognizing your anger, but dropped the topic quickly and headed over to the net.

Practice ended early that day and everyone had emptied out of the gym as soon as possible, attempting to avoid the promising rain. Hinata had lingered behind, occasionally glancing at you before finally approaching. His hair was messier than usual, beads of sweat running down the side of his face and staining his uniform. You couldn’t help but notice every detail.  
“What?” your facial expression remains flat but your voice wavers just slightly, breaking your facade effortlessly.

“N-Nothing! It’s just… Ever since I started dating Mizuki, you’ve been acting really weird, y’know? Jeeeeze, if something’s wrong, you should tell me!” his words voice lacked the humor that his words carried, his eyes looking up to match your gaze.

Mizuki. You hated the name for no reason other than pure jealousy and you loathed yourself for that. She had been nothing but kind to you, but her name couldn’t help but leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

“Nothing’s wrong. I have to go.” You dismissed him, walking out briskly, not glancing back at the undoubtedly angered face behind you.

You bit your lip viciously, holding back the tears that threaten to fall. For the next several days, you refused to look at Hinata.

\---

You began to miss your first year of high school desperately. Back when you could make excuses for your envy, back when Hinata’s relationship wasn’t as serious and he could still occasionally make time for you. You had never expected Mizuki to stick around. She was incredibly kind and caring, everything Hinata deserved. So what was this anger boiling inside you?  
One day after one of Ennoshita’s greuling lectures on proper behavior (the new first years were excellent players but frequently overbearing), Hinata turned to you with a smile he hadn’t shown you for a long time.

“Kageyama, want to practice together this weekend? Mizuki’s going away so I have some free time!” He suggested offhandedly, to which you had to restrain an enthusiastic response.

“I guess. I can do Saturday.” you responded, biting back a smile. Deep down you knew you were simply a substitute, a temporary replacement for Mizuki, but you were elated nonetheless.

Plans were arranged and Saturday came quickly. You put effort into your appearance for the first time you could remember. Of course, Hinata was sporting none other than his usual shorts and plain tee shirt, but he didn’t fail to recognize your efforts.

“Whoa, Kageyama, you look so cool!” He praised, eyes shining. You felt yourself blush and offered a small shrug.

“I came from a family lunch.” You were a compulsive liar, but he bought it without question.

It was the best day you’d spent in a while. Beginning with a quick lunch and ending with you and Hinata sweaty from practice, tired from hours of tossing. Hinata seemed to have genuinely had a good time, enjoying the day despite his girlfriend’s absence.

As your time together drew to a close, Hinata leaned on you support, your heart pounding rapidly.

“Kageyama, I’m tireeeeeed.” He whined, jumping on your back without prior warning, “Carry me!”

“Dumbass, you can’t just do things like this!” you snapped, compensating for your evident blush and racing heartbeat. You carried him home without another word, dropping him at his doorstep, he looked up at you.

“We should do this again sometime.” Hinata mumbled drowsily, “I miss you…”

You left without another word.

\---

There was no ‘again’ for quite some time. Even though their relationship was broken off in between your third and second year, there was distance between you and Hinata. You recognized your attempts to spend time with him were futile and stopped asking. After his breakup, he turned to you support. Behind your irritated mask, you were delighted you were his first pick.

It was around two in the morning that the topic came up. Hinata spent the night at your house, both your parents were away for a week and he offered some form of company. He was exhausted, barely clinging to consciousness when the words left his mouth.

“Sometimes… when I was dating Mizuki, I would think you were jealous. At first… I thought maybe you like Mizuki. But that couldn’t have been right…. Right?” Hinata mumbled drowsily, “So, was there another reason you stopped talking to me?”

Your heart skipped a beat, eyes snapping open before you turned to your side and shrugged apathetically. “No. I just thought you would have preferred to spend time with her. She was your girlfriend. Relationships come first.”

Hinata clearly wasn’t convinced. He opened his mouth to press the topic but you interjected quickly.

“I’m going to sleep.” 

You didn’t speak for the rest of the night.

\---

As the end of your third year grew near, it dawned on you that you’d hardly prepared for exams. School was never the most important thing on your mind, but there was no way you’d ever be able to get into a fine college without prior studying. Yet, despite your efforts, you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that graduation was dawning on you. Your thoughts were crowded around other things.

You made plans with Hinata to study together after school, and generally stuck to the strict routine of school, practice and then studying. You began to pick up on a pattern; the times you most enjoyed were volleyball and studying, in other words the time you could spend with Hinata.

“Jeeze.” Hinata groaned, stretching out across the table near the end of one of your study sessions, “It’s really gonna be weird, huh? Going to a different college. I’m not gonna see you anymore, Kageyama!”

You didn’t like to think about it. In fact, you’d blocked the thought entirely out of your mind.

“Dumbass, neither one of us will get into a good college. We still might end up together.” You blurted quickly, hoping he’d agree with your wildest fantasy.

“Hm? I didn’t tell you? I’m going to college in America.” Hinata mentioned, as if that was unimportant news, “My mom wants me to go to one in New York.”

“What? You didn’t mention something like that?” Your eyes narrowed to a piercing glare, rising to your feet abruptly, “You don’t think that’s something I’d like to know?!” 

You recognized the fact that your voice had grown loud and desperately tried to control it, but it was useless. Hinata rose to his feet, clearly taken aback by your aggressive reaction. You often forgot that he didn’t view your friendship the same way you did.

“I-I didn’t realize this would make you so--” he began, rubbing his fingers together nervously but you just packed your things into your backpack, turning away.

“I have to go home.”

\---

This was it. Graduation day. If you were ever going to tell Hinata how you felt, today would be the day. This was your only chance. You got nervous before volleyball matches but this was a new level of anxiety. You began to doubt yourself more and more as time passed, convincing yourself your feelings were unrequited.

You watched as Hinata spoke with the other third years, reminiscing to when he first arrived here. He hadn’t yet confronted you and something told you that was on purpose. You had been acting strange around him and he had picked up on it. You were never phenomenal at hiding your feelings. However, he eventually glanced in your direction and ran over.

“Kageyama! Oh man, I’m really gonna miss playing volleyball with you. We had some really good times, huh?” Hinata’s voice cracked, catching you off guard. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes, a broken smile stretching across his face.

“H-Huh? Um, yeah… It’s going to be weird playing with other people. I really got used to playing with you.” What a lame response, but it was all you could muster as Hinata wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug.

You hugged back, lightly draping your arms around him. Physical contact never failed to make you uncomfortable no matter who it was coming from. It didn’t help that your anxiety was causing you to tremble.

“Hinata… There’s something I want to say..” You broke away from the hug abruptly, your glance immediately shifting to the floor. Hinata looked up, tilting his head to the side.

“Kageyama, I know what you’re gonna say.” The words hit you hard, causing you to break your glance from the ground, “You’re my best friend too!”

You flinched, as if you had just been hit, and took a step back. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re my best friend, Hinata.” You doubted that your words were convincing, but you didn’t care anymore. Hinata seemed confused, knowing he had said something wrong but he was quickly whisked away by a first year, leaving you by yourself.

The room emptied out and you were left alone again. Your fingers clenched into a fist, punching the wall, patches of blood staining your hands. You wouldn’t cry. You couldn’t cry.

\---

You only saw Hinata once after that. It was a brief encounter during your second year of college, consisting of mostly reminiscing. You considered saying something, addressing what you never had the chance to say that day, but you stopped when you noticed the tall blonde girl by his side. You cursed yourself for truly thinking you deserved a happy ending.


End file.
